I have an adventurous soul, but I also love being home and these 80 days were a great break for my body and mind. While the world seemed like it is falling apart, I was able to find my silver lining.
80 Days of staying at home and social distancing.
When COVID-19 hit Michigan I was nervously washing my hands, using hand sanitizer and wiping everything down every 5 minutes. Not knowing what was going to happen was terrifying because nothing like this had ever happened in my lifetime. March 23rd rolled around and as I walked into work I heard Governor Whitmer announce that in order to flatten the curve we must stay home and only absolutely essential businesses can be open. The tone seemed like something out of a pandemic movie. It did not seem real. I wasn’t sure if I was just having one of my crazy realistic dreams. As the state shut down and April came, the amount of cases skyrocketed. People can argue all they want about the reaction to the number of cases, but just imagine your entire family being wiped out. This isn’t something to take lightly. At that time there was still a lot of research being done and a lot of unknowns. What I did know is that Metro Detroit (Oakland, Wayne, and Macomb counties specifically) was hit the hardest in the state of Michigan. Just in Oakland County, the county I live and work in, there has been a total of 8,602 confirmed cases (as of June 17th) while the state has 66,269 confirmed cases. When you look at the total population of Michigan compared to the amount of cases it doesn’t seem that scary, but I have a way to stop those thoughts. Imagine Ford Field filled with people (65,000 seats) and everyone inside that stadium gets sick and over 6,000 of them die as a result of getting sick during a short period of time. When you consider this scenario it is hard to think “oh it is just the flu, no biggie”. That is a lot of people who did not have to die. I took this stay at home order very seriously because the world was not shutting down for no reason. As soon as studies came out that showed many people can be asymptomatic, I became even more worried. I care about other people very much and would not be able to live with myself if I unknowingly infected someone and as a result they pass away from the illness. People have forgotten about the concept of compassion and caring about others. This is proven every day I see someone inside a small space refusing to wear a face mask.
This is my perspective from living in one of the hardest hit areas of the country. This is not some joke and as much as people do not like how Whitmer handled the stay at home orders, Michigan is one of the only states to actually flatten the curve.
Now off that soap box and back to my story about my 80 days of staying at home. I knew I was going to have quite a bit of downtime so I compiled a list of tasks to keep myself busy. The list was full of goals and chores that I have been putting off for far too long. Some of these goals were for me to read more, start a blog, create my website, go for more walks, and focus on my weight loss. The morning after the announcement of the stay at home order I added one more task; create a daily photo project during my time at home. I wanted to share a photo of myself just moments after I woke up paired with some of my thoughts. My reason to create the project was to share positivity, promote kindness, self care and self love. When I thought about this idea, I was reminded of all the other daily portrait projects in the world of photography. I was not inventing anything new, so why do it?
It was an experiment of sorts and I had many questions. A. Will I wake up at the same time every day without an alarm?
Answer: Yes! I woke up around 8am every day without fail (for the most part). B. How crazy will my hair be?
Answer: Sometimes super wild and other days it was as if I didn’t sleep at all. I have actually laughed out loud because of my wild bedhead. C. Will I be able to see any change in my appearance over the span of the project?
Answer: I feel like I saw a change in my appearance. D. Will my own self confidence increase as a result of these self-portraits?
Answer: Yes! My self-confidence reached its highest point in my life during this project. E. Will my posts have an effect on anyone or help them in anyway?
Answer: I think they effected people, I know my dad loved seeing my sleepy self every day.
I started each post with [Day #] and followed up with my morning thoughts. They were comprised of simple emoji’s, my feelings, dreams I had or my plans for the day. My project actually went longer than the stay at home order for Michigan. I wanted to have an even number so I chose 80 and during those 80 days I learned a lot about myself and accomplished a lot. Already knowing that I am very much a homebody I decided to take advantage of my new free time. If you would like to read my posts go to kyleejo.93 on instagram and scroll through!
To the left is Day 1 and to the right is Day 80
I did my best to keep my mind occupied with puzzling, completing fill-it-ins, writing for my blog, reading, while I also making sure to enjoy the outdoors. During our daily neighborhood walks we started actually feeling like we lived in a suburb. So many of our neighbors spending time outside going for walks, riding their bikes, walking their dogs, and doing lawn work. It started to feel like a real community. The transformation was amazing.
We also continued our weekly hikes at our nearby recreational areas. Normally we rarely run into another soul on trail because we try to take the path less traveled; equestrian trails. They are a little more difficult and tend to have less traffic but with so many people spending time outside we saw a lot of people on trail. I was happy to see everyone enjoying the outdoors as a change. We even went for a weekend backpacking trip and were stunned by the number of people we saw camping.
During this time I was able to focus. Never before, not even in school, could I just sit and read 100 pages without my mind wandering. I was so excited about reading that I would barely wait even one minute after closing one book before opening another.
Here is a list of the books I have read since the start of shutdown.
-Sideways by Rex Pickett
-The Book Thief by Markus Zusak -Cosa Nostra by John Dickie -Dracula by Bram Stoker -Big Fish by Daniel Wallace -Into The Wild by Jon Krakauer
-And I am currently reading Eat, Pray, Love by Elizabeth Gilbert. I really wish I had this level of focus while in school because I probably would have earned better grades. I fell into a wonderful routine with my boyfriend and pup. So much so that I got emotional driving away from my house when I had to return to work. I was concerned I would not be able to maintain some of my new routine. I guess the American lifestyle takes over and we all eventually lose ourselves in our work. The never ending race to the non-existent finish line resumes when the quarantine ends. I decided I would do my best to keep up with my self care, make time to read, enjoy my morning coffee, write for my blog and focus on my weight loss journey. I did not want to compromise with my happiness.
During those 80 Days my self-confidence shot way up. I attribute this to my ability to take time for myself and my morning photo project. I started to feel beautiful in my own skin without makeup and with messy hair. I was finally confident in my mind and in my art. It is unfortunate that it took a pandemic to be able to accomplish these things. When I think back to when S*&^ hit the fan, it does not seem that long ago. For some reason it feels like just yesterday we heard we were having to stay home. I also feel like we skipped 2020 altogether. Sort of like we entered the twilight zone. Time has no meaning or relevance to me right now. I look down at my watch one minute and then BAM a whole week has gone by. Was I asleep or on autopilot, or is it because my mind has been so focused on what I am doing that the world is moving at a faster pace? Time seems to catch up to me really quickly.
I feel bad for those who felt like this stay at home/quarantine time has dragged on forever and feel miserable. This time off was just what I needed to feel like myself again and achieve some personal goals. I now look forward to my future and have more confidence in myself. I honestly feel I can accomplish anything I put my mind to.
As a society, we need to normalize the need to take a break because we are constantly moving. I sincerely hope this inspires you to look inward and reflect on somethings you may have put off because of “life”.
Love your blog, the special effects & pics Kylee. Great job.